ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
