Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
cat food counts as protein by the way
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
