It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
