We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
