my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
