That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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