covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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