Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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