So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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