We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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