I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
