Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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