i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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