Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
