I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i think my mom watched the whole time
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize