1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
