me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
