Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
