I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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