Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
50% drunk capacity currently
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
