My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i permit you to call me
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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