so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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