after a month anything with tits is on the radar
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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