just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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