The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
