Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
