Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
