I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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