I just pynch a tree in the face
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
