Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
