I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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