Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
