do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
