Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
