Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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