no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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