i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
