Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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