Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
