He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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