Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
