I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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