Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
