Fuck appropriateness.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
