Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
