If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
