Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Is it because I queefed?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I have surprise drugs for everyone
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
