haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
