I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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