it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
