i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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